Friends, I come to you today in a state of utter perplexity. There I was, taking a brief recess from my daily work routine and perusing Twitter when I decided to glance over at the illustrious Pwns Media group chat. To give you a little glimpse behind the curtain, we typically use this medium to bounce different podcast ideas off one another, discuss news, take unwarranted shots at my very normal sized 50 inch television, etc.
Anyways, today I saw a few of my esteemed colleagues discussing what they had or were planning to have for lunch. You might assume that this wouldn't be controversial subject matter, but you'd be wrong. Innocently enough, I informed my friends that I had prepared the perfect PB&J sandwich for myself; in case you're curious, this sandwich consists of:
two (2) slices of Wonder Bread (standard white bread also works in a pinch)
one (1) generously spread layer of peanut butter applied to both slices of bread
one (1) slice of bread coated with Concord Grape jelly over the peanut butter
If you are preparing your PB&J any differently than this, you're simply doing it wrong, not sure what to tell you. By covering both pieces of bread with peanut butter, you're preventing sogginess when applying your jelly. You can also choose to apply a thin layer of peanut butter around the crust if you choose, in order to prevent your jelly from leaking out during consumption, although this step is unnecessary if you know how much jelly to apply. And if you're using anything other than Concord Grape jelly, you're simply not eating a PB&J.
Let's get back on topic, though, because this was not what set our group chat ablaze. Here's what did: I simply let the group know that I also tossed a few potato chips inside my PB&J and I was ATTACKED vociferously! For reference, I place chips inside all of my sandwiches and have done so ever since I first began making them for myself and gained access to the snack cabinet as a youth. By revealing this information, I was labeled a pariah, a scoundrel even, which confused me to no end. I was told that, apparently, this is not a thing that the majority of people do? How?!? One of the best parts of a delicious sandwich is that little extra texture, the subtle yet enjoyable crunch! Could you get this from lettuce? I mean sure, I guess, although lettuce isn't a natural fit for all sandwiches, not in the manner that potato chips are.
Many of you right now have had your eyes opened to a manner in which you can better enjoy your lunch (or breakfast/dinner, sandwiches are a fit for any time of the day). Others are probably sitting there with a puzzled look on their face, wondering how old the author of this blog is. Surely he has to be no older than 12. Well, I'm 29, friend, with a wealth of sandwich making and eating experience and I'm telling you that you can't knock putting chips inside your sandwich until you try it. And again, this whole debacle began with me talking about a traditionally sweet sandwich in the PB&J, rather than something savory like a club, grilled cheese or BLT. I'm here to tell you that your basic potato chip not only provides you with some crunch in your sandwich, but also amplifies its flavor! Your PB&J gets some salty taste to contrast the sweetness, your grilled cheese is amplified by the simple yet satisfying flavor of, perhaps, some sour cream and onion Lay's - the possibilities are truly endless here!
But hey, I'm no dictator, it's not my goal to force you guys and gals into anything. If you want to continue eating an inferior sandwich for the remainder of your days, by all means, go ahead! I'm just trying to do you all a favor because I'm such a swell guy. I would, however, love to gather some feedback from our loyal readers and listeners. Do YOU enjoy chips in your sandwiches as well, or are you stuck living a lie? Please sound off in the comments, reply to this article, or vote in our Twitter poll. I want to hear who else is with me, because I know that I can't possibly be alone here. #TeamChips stand up!