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Internet Trolls Rejoice: The Snyder Cut Exists

It's official, folks: there's no justice in this world (this is a pun that you'll find much more clever if you know exactly what I'm blogging about). Today, we learned that being an internet troll can sometimes pay off and get you exactly what you want in life - in this case, additional footage from a really crappy movie that some people seem to like. That's right, folks: apparently Zack Snyder's preferred cut of 2017's 'Justice League,' or the "Snyder Cut" as it's known on Al Gore's internet, actually exists and is going to be released on HBO Max sometime in early 2021. If this news excites you, then you might not like what's written below.

You may have noticed certain Twitter accounts incessantly posting #ReleaseTheSnyderCut any opportunity they got over the past few years (if not, count yourself lucky). Well, that's because Zack Snyder, who directed the steaming pile of crap known as 'Justice League,' famously claimed after the film was panned by both critics and comic book fans alike that the cut we all saw in theaters was not his preferred vision, but rather mandated by the Studio big wigs at Warner Brothers. For nearly 3 years now, fans of the DCEU have been clamoring to see this so-called "Snyder Cut," and for the very cheap price of 'much more than the cost of your average movie ticket,' they can get their wish!

That's right - the only place that you'll be able to see Zack Snyder's cut of 'Justice League' is on HBO Max, which launches on May 27th. What's HBO Max, you ask? Well, as you can probably imagine, it's yet another streaming service to add to the likes of Netflix, Hulu, Prime Video, Disney Plus, etc. (I could rant for a while about the absurdity of all these streaming services popping up and fighting over a small amount of market share, but this isn't the time or place). As you could imagine, HBO Max is owned by Warner Brothers, which explains it's connection to the DCEU and 'Justice League' in general.

This move to announce that the "Snyder Cut" will be released on HBO Max absolutely REEKS of a ploy on the part of Warner Brothers to generate more interest in the platform, especially with the launch now only a week away. Normally, I'd roll my eyes at something like this; in this case, however, I absolutely LOVE IT. The execs over at WB realize that they have an entire army of Zack Snyder simps just begging to see a different version of their piece of crap film that already made them more than a billion dollars a while back. What better way to book a ton of subscriptions and generate an overall buzz for their new streaming platform than to blatantly target that market? It's genius! Like any incredibly attractive woman who creates an OnlyFans, they're literally printing their own money.

Needless to say, I was not a fan of 'Justice League,' despite really wanting to like it. I absolutely love comic book movies - I'm always there on opening night to see them without fail. But DC/Warner Brothers have had some well documented flops on the big screen, this film among them. I fail to see how Snyder's preferred cut would somehow make this lackluster story and shoddy character development any better, but to each their own. I will not be subscribing to HBO Max when it launches, and unless the platform adds actual original programming that piques my interest, that won't change down the road, either. Like I said, though, good for WB for realizing they had some fish in a barrel that they could shoot and make their latest venture appear to be a success. Enjoy your #SnyderCut, you DORKS.

- Mark


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